The Dark Triad and Burnout

Why walking on eggshells at work quietly drains people

Burnout is often viewed through the lens of workload.

We instantly think of excessive working hours, heavy project or caseloads, relentless deadlines and increasing demands.

These are all well-recognised contributors to burnout, but they are only part of the picture.

Rarely is consideration given to the emotional labour required to navigate relationships that feel consistently unpredictable.

In a recent Burnout to Brilliance podcast conversation with Business Psychologist and Therapist Dannielle Haig, we explored the psychology of the Dark Triad.  It consists of three overlapping personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.

Whilst the Dark Triad is often discussed in relation to personality and leadership, our conversation wasn't focused on labelling people. We were keen to draw attention to the impact that prolonged relational unpredictability can have on the nervous system of the people around them.

In organisations across every sector, there are individuals who arrive at work each day preparing themselves to contend with those who have high Dark Triad traits.

This preparation includes choosing their words carefully. Paying attention to tone and reading the room before speaking. Anticipating how someone might respond and rehearsing conversations in advance. Second-guessing decisions and waiting to see which version of a colleague or leader is going to walk through the door.

Much of this happens below conscious awareness.

It doesn't appear in a workload assessment, a wellbeing survey or a performance review. Yet it requires a tremendous amount of emotional, cognitive and physiological energy.

Over time, the labour of that constant emotional calculation can quietly become one of the hidden drivers of burnout.

When Relationships Become a Hidden Workload

Our nervous systems are designed to seek safety through predictability.

When interactions with another person feel consistently unpredictable, our brains instinctively begin working harder.

Without consciously deciding to, we start to:

• Monitor moods and emotional tone

• Carefully edit what we say

• Rehearse conversations before they happen

• Second-guess our decisions

• Suppress disagreement

• Constantly assess whether a situation feels psychologically safe

None of these behaviours appear on a job description, nor are they recognised as part of workload.  Yet they consume a tremendous amount of energy and take up thinking time, both inside and outside work.

Over time, the emotional labour of constantly adapting ourselves around another person's behaviour can become like carrying a second job alongside the one we are actually employed to do.

Looking Beyond Busyness

One of the concepts Dannielle introduced during our podcast conversation was emotional hypervigilance.

Many people will recognise the experience, even if they've never heard the term before.

When we spend prolonged periods anticipating another person's reactions, our nervous systems rarely have the opportunity to settle. Instead, they remain quietly alert, continually scanning for potential conflict or threat.

This ongoing vigilance can leave people feeling depleted long before they recognise what is happening.  This is one of the reasons burnout cannot be understood through workload alone.  The quality of our relationships, the cultures we create and the psychological safety people experience within organisations all influence how much energy our work requires.

A Leadership Question Worth Asking

Organisations often respond to burnout by helping individuals become more resilient.

Resilience absolutely has its place.

However, resilience should never become a substitute for examining the environments people are expected to navigate every day.

Before asking:

"How can we help people cope better?"

It may be worth asking:

"What are people having to cope with?"

That question shifts the conversation from fixing individuals to understanding systems.

It invites leaders to consider not only the demands of the work itself, but the relational dynamics surrounding it.

Not every difficult colleague or manager displays Dark Triad traits, our personality profile is always more nuanced than any framework or psychometric can possibly capture.

What this conversation does remind us, however, is that relationships matter.  So too does predictability and psychological safety, because when people no longer need to spend their energy walking on eggshells, they are much more free and able to invest it in the work they were employed to do.

Listen and Learn More

This article was inspired by my latest Burnout to Brilliance podcast conversation with Business Psychologist and Therapist Dannielle Haig, where we explore the psychology of the Dark Triad and why prolonged exposure to relational unpredictability can quietly contribute to burnout.

🎧 Available now on the Burnout to Brilliance Podcast: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube

If this reflection resonates and your organisation is looking to better understand the hidden drivers of burnout, Balanceology supports organisations through keynote speaking, leadership development, burnout prevention programmes and coaching.

We also offer coaching with Jayne Morris and a team of Associate Coaches who have all completed our trauma-informed, ICF-accredited Balanceology Certified Burnout Coach Programme. Where a therapeutic approach is more appropriate, we signpost to BACP-registered counsellors and psychotherapists.

For further information, please contact hello@balanceology.uk