Resentment & Burnout: The Quiet Link We Often Miss

By Frances Robinson, Balanceology Certified Burnout Coach

We often associate burnout with visible signs of overwork: packed inboxes, looming deadlines, and endless to-do lists. But beneath the surface of this busyness, another emotion can quietly take root. It’s not always loud or dramatic - but it is persistent. That emotion is resentment.

What Is Resentment, Really?

Resentment doesn’t always arrive in a rush. More often, it simmers. It’s a subtle cocktail of anger, frustration, disappointment, and a sense of injustice. According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, resentment is “a feeling of persistent ill will or anger due to a perceived insult or injustice.” It’s the persistence that matters here.

Frances Robinson, a Certified Burnout Coach with Balanceology, sees resentment as a kind of emotional residue - one that clings quietly, taking up valuable mental and emotional space. Left unprocessed, it becomes a corrosive force that drains motivation and clouds decision-making.

Can Resentment Serve a Purpose?

Yes. Like all emotions, resentment carries a message. It often points to:

• Unmet needs

• Crossed boundaries

• Ignored values

As Moshe Ratson notes, “It may have a bad name, but it keeps us safe.” Resentment can be a valuable signal - one that prompts reflection and change. But if unacknowledged, it festers. It no longer protects; it begins to harm.

When Resentment Helps vs. When It Hurts

Helpful Resentment:

• Highlights boundaries that need reinforcing

• Brings awareness to what’s not working

• Signals the need for change

Harmful Resentment:

• Fuels rumination and cynicism

• Saps energy and emotional resilience

• Triggers passive-aggressive behaviours

• Disconnects us from meaning and purpose

What Does Resentment Sound Like?

It often sneaks into everyday language:

• “Why am I always the one who has to…?”

• “No one notices what I do.”

• “They just expect me to pick up the slack.”

• “It’s not fair.”

These statements act as emotional flares. They reveal a deeper sense of being unseen, unappreciated, or overextended - feelings that, when left to build, contribute significantly to burnout.

Where Does It Come From?

Resentment is rarely a sudden emotion. It typically stems from long-term imbalances, such as:

1. Chronic Overfunctioning - Doing more than your fair share, with little return.

2. Weak Boundaries - Saying yes when your inner voice pleads no.

3. Unspoken Expectations - Hoping others just know what you need.

4. People-Pleasing - Prioritising others at your own expense.

5. Perceived Injustice - Watching others be rewarded while you’re overlooked.

The Link Between Resentment & Burnout

Resentment is more than a feeling - it’s a leak in the system. It steadily drains emotional energy and narrows our capacity for empathy, creativity, and compassion.

A 2018 study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that emotional dissonance - the suppression of true feelings like frustration or resentment - was strongly linked with emotional exhaustion, a core marker of burnout.

Resentment traps us in a negative feedback loop, reinforced by our brain’s natural negativity bias. It keeps us tethered to the past and prevents us from fully engaging in the present.

Coaching Tools to Work with Resentment

Resentment is often complex, layered, and uncomfortable to confront. But coaching can offer a compassionate, structured space for exploration.

Coaches trained in the Balanceology method use gentle inquiry and creative tools to support this work. Clients might be invited to reflect on questions like:

• What feels most frustrating about this?

• What boundary might be beneficial to introduce here?

• What might be the cost of holding on?

• What shift might happen if you let go?

Creative interventions - like unsent letter writing, metaphor work, poetry, or somatic techniques - can help surface and process resentment in ways that feel safe and empowering.

Balanceology’s Certified Burnout Coach Course explores these techniques in depth, equipping coaches to guide others in recognising, reframing, and releasing resentment as part of a burnout prevention strategy.

A Final Thought

Resentment doesn’t roar like stress or crash in like exhaustion. It creeps. But noticing its presence early is not just a therapeutic act - it’s a vital wellbeing intervention.

When we honour the messages behind resentment, we begin to reclaim energy, clarity, and agency. And from there, change becomes possible.

Explore Coaching or Train With Us

Frances Robinson is a Balanceology Certified Burnout Coach and part of the Balanceology Associate Network. She supports individuals in navigating burnout through powerful, compassionate coaching.

To work with Frances, or explore becoming a Certified Burnout Coach through Balanceology’s accredited training click here to learn more.

🎧 Further Listening

If you’re exploring themes like resentment, underappreciation, and emotional depletion, you may enjoy the Art of Balance Burnout Podcast by Balanceology. 

In this episode, Balanceology Founder Jayne Morris interviews best-selling author and coach Michael Heppell on the powerful topic of underappreciation - a feeling often deeply connected to burnout. It’s a thoughtful, inspiring conversation that’s worth a listen.